Hash Trash

We escaped Silver Spring…sort of. We will be exploring the Northern Boundary of DC in Rock Creek Park.

Start location: (Beach dr. and Pinehurst

Pkwy, Chevy Chase, MD) https://maps.app.goo.gl/9WdNgbicAFHZKXqg9Parking lot on north side of Beach Drive where Pinehurst Parkway dead ends. Overflow parking available on Beach Dr by Candy City playground.

Hash Cash:  $7

Hares: Late Nite & Ass Spelunker

Trail details: A to A.

Runners: 4+ miles, Walkers 3-ish miles. Expect hills and wooded trails with light shiggy. We don’t plan on bushwhacking or water crossings, but the hares could get lost. Dog and tough stroller friendly.

Bring Camp chairs if you wanna sit and be comfortable.

Gripes & Complaints to Late Nite @ 240-274-3707 or Ass Spelunker @ 757-636-2524

On After: TBD

// TOP SECRETIVE SQUIRREL // IN THE LIEUTENANT COCKÓ BEL GRÃNDE// START TRANSMISSION // WARNING ORDER ATTENTION ALL SWILL TEAM 6 (ST6) MEMBERS (AND POTENTIAL RECRUITS), COMMAND AND CONTROL (C2). RETRIEVE BEER FOR THE CUMMING SPRING! ALL HANDS ON DECK! TIME 1400. LOCATION: Takoma Station: 38.976268295548, -77.01706230561825. HARES: IN THE LIEUTENANT COCKÓ BEL GRÃNDE & COCKÓ BEL GRÃNDE & INVIZABITCH (CPO). //RULES OF ENGAGEMENTS LISTED BELOW//. LEAVE NO BEER BEHIND! // END OF TRANSMISSION //

Location: 7611 Piney Branch Rd, Silver Spring, MD 20910

Hares: Cocko Bell Grande and Invisabitch

Time: 2pee em

Cost: $7 for those not doing Swill Team Six, Less if you are doing the challenge since you will be bringing your own beer. (Details on Swill Team 6 at bottom of this page)

Distance: TBD

Shiggy: TBD

Are you ready for something other than the same ol’ style of trail? Are you tired of running around and only getting one lousy beer check with crappy beer? Why not come out and complete a real Swill Team 6 mission? You can bring your own 6 pack of good stuff on trail instead of the toxic sludge you are used to! For those of you who complete this swill team 6 mission you will receive a patch for completion if you do not already have one! Any method you choose to carry the sacred nectar will suffice.

For anyone who cares to know all the official rules of this event, I present to you every hairy detail you could possibly want to know:

1. The following are the rules of engagement and standard operating procedures for any and all Swill Team 6 missions as directed by SW6 Admiral Shuttlecock. Revision 1.2 (section: Mission Standards 3,4) Swill Team 6 Operative Requirements Selectee must complete the requirements listed below to become a fully inducted operative of SW6.

a. On a Swill Team 6 Mission (a pre designated trail) the Selectee Must complete the entire trail. “Zenning or Booze hounding” is not authorized.

b. During the Swill Team mission, the selectee must carry a six pack of standard 12oz beer cans (4.2% alcohol content minimum). The beer may be of the Selectee’s choice, and must be beer.

c. At six designated check points throughout the mission, the selectee will stop and shotgun a beer. One of the six being carried will be shot gunned and will be done at designated checkpoints only, and must be completed before the selectee may continue.

d. The Mission (trail) must be completed at a runners pace. Walking the entire trail is not authorized. Over watch is authorize(non-participants, but want to run Trail).

e. Hashers not trashers! Empty shotgun vessels will not be left on trial and will be carried back as proof of completion.

2. Promotion standards:

a. Upon completion of the Operative Requirements, Selectees will officially be a member of SW6 and will earn the rank of Seaman First Class.

b. For all Booze Hound that complete the Operative Requirements, these members will earn the rank of Petty Officer. Members who are Non Booze Hounds will receive this promotion after completing Booze Hound.

c. To earn a promotion after being inducted in to the SW6, members must perform a task that is Swill Team worthy. Examples: Hare a trail while completing the Operative Requirements Complete Operative Requirements with 24oz “tallboy or Danger Cans”.

d. Promotions will be determined by the senior member or members of Swill Team 6, and promotion rank will vary depending on the level of Swill Team intensity of the task.

e. Lastly any member or selectee who snares the hare while said person is performing the Operative Requirements will earn the title of “Swill Team Terrorist”.

f. Swill Team Terrorist will be stripped of any previous rank.

g. Terrorist will also no long be authorized to wear the Swill Team bronze eagle patch, instead replace with a Red Eagle Mission standards.

3. The following must be met in order to be an approved mission:

a. One member of SW6 must be a participant of the mission. (exception, if no SW6 member is present the mission must be approved by senior member of SW6).

b. If the Hare is not a SW6 member, they must be properly brief on mission procedures. (I.E. proper location for Shotgun checks, etc.).

c. To count as an official SW6 Mission, the hare must complete the SW6 Operative requirements, even if the hare already an inducted member of SW6.

d. When Hare is completing the SW6 Operative requirements, the hare must follow all requirements. No exception will be made, especially requirement #3.

e. It is highly recommend but not required, if the Hare is completing the Operative requirement that they have a Co-Hare.

f. Swill Team 6 is an independent entity, and in not part of any single hash. Similar to the “Wild Rover” tradition. SW6 Operatives may be members of any kennel worldwide. Missions may be on any trail that any kennel is willing to host.

4. Below is the anal rank scale: selectee – promotes to Semen Asshole after completing Basic (no-name hasher holds selectee rank until named).

Semen
Petting Orifice 2nd Class
Petting Orifice 1st Class
Chief Penetrating Orifice
Senior Chief Penetrating Orifice
Master Chief Penetrating Orifice
Master Chief of SW6 -Must hold admin rights to SW6 page
Chief Wanker Officer
Butterbar
Lieutenant Virgin Grade
In the Lieutenant
Lieutenant Cummander
Cummander
Anal Eagle
Rear End Admiral
Anal Vice Admiral
Admiral
Admiral of SW6 – Must hold admin rights to SW6 page
Can-sniffing K9 – rank held by dogs completing the mission
Terrorist – no rank, someone who snared the hare operative during a mission

5. Below is a list of known, accepted ways of promotion:

Basic – 6 cans (12 oz)- completing a mission.
Hares Away- 6 cans (12 oz) – haring a mission.
battle rattle – 6 cans (>=12 oz) – complete a mission in full tactical gear.
Prove your worth – 6 cans (16 oz)- completing a mission.
Boozehound – 6 cans (>=12 oz) + 1 liter – Complete mission and chug a liter of beer in 69 seconds (or less).
Tall Boys – 6 cans (24 oz) – completing a mission.
Juice Jedi – 6 cans (>=12 oz) + 1 bottle of soju – complete the mission then down a bottle of soju in circle.

6. Each 6 missions completed, regardless of promotions attained (i.e. Petting Orifice 1st Class by completing world traveler), will be awarded the next rank, up to Chief Penetrating Orifice. To gain rank higher than Master Chief Penetrating Orifice an operator must brief on SW6 during circle before trail, hare a trail, and write an After Action Report.

7. Below are promotions for RR:

a. World traveler – 6 cans (bottles are acceptable – don’t smash the bottle, >=12 oz, >=5% ABV) – complete at designated spots.

b. 40 oz to freedom – 40 oz + 6 cans (>=12 oz) – 40 must be empty before on-in.

c. Debrief – 64 oz + 6 cans (>=12 oz) – complete 64 oz during end circle, or on-after, within 15 mins. Vomit in circle should not be tolerated and will constitute dishonorable discharge (see below) and endless ridicule.

d. Man Down – 12 cans (>=12 oz) – complete 2 cans per designated spot.

e. Amphibious assault – 6 cans (>=12 oz) – must wear underwater mask and snorkel (breathing through the snorkel while running is optional and not recommended.

8. Below are ways to get disqualified from mission:

a. Came early – accidentally skipping marks and not going back to find them before on-in.

b. Walking dead – getting caught casually walking during mission.

c. No proof – not showing proof of completion (6 empty cans).

d. Dishonorable discharge – vomiting in circle.

9. Below are ways to get disqualified and lose rank for RR:

a. Blue falcon – get caught not carrying your own pack.

b. Cease fire – get caught intentional skipping a check and/or pouring ammunition (beer) any place other than your mouth.

Hares: Count Crackula and Front Office

Cost: $10 (real food provided)

Start location: 10426 Inwood Avenue, Silver Spring, MD 20902

Distance: A-A, Runner: 4-5 miles / Walkers: ~3 miles

Shiggy Level: 3.69 (70% pavement, 30% off pavement)

 On-After at Casa de Crackula. Front Office will titillate your taste buds with a light meal.

Red Line Metro to Forest Glen. Call the Count at 301.332.7073 for a ride to the start. The weather looks nice, so bring a chair or something to sit on at the on-after.

Hash Cash $10 since we’re actually feeding you wankers.

Park on Inwood Avenue, toward Gridley on the right side of the street.

Join us this Saturday, February 3rd, for a trail that’s as bewildering and repetitive as a conversation with your ex! We’re celebrating Groundhog Day at Third Hill Brewing, Silver Spring, Maryland, where the beer flows like time loops in Punxsutawney.

Hares: Spike and Tramp-sub-stantiation

Cost: $7

Start location: Third Hill Brewing, Silver Spring (38.99216943514258, -77.02695235820548)

Distance: Runners 5-6 miles, Walkers 2-6 miles

Shiggy Level: 1.69 (Mostly sidewalks. Weather projected to be high 40s and sunny)

Pre lube and On-After: Third Hill Brewing

Prepare to relive your mistakes, just like our furry friend Phil, but with less weather forecasting and more beer! Our trail is a dizzying déjà vu adventure – you might just check your calendar twice. Will you find the trail or just end up chasing your own tail? Expect twists, turns, and maybe a few reruns, because let’s face it, we’ve all had days we wish we could do over… especially after a few beers.

Don’t forget your sense of humor and a pair of sturdy running shoes – you’ll need both to navigate this maze of merriment. And remember, just like Bill Murray, you’re doomed (or blessed?) to repeat this day until you get it right. So, whether you’re a speedy hare or a leisurely tortoise, come out and embrace the Groundhog Day spirit.

Post-trail, we’ll converge at Third Hill Brewing – a place so cozy, even a groundhog would ditch its burrow. Raise a glass (or three) and toast good company, and the hope that tomorrow, you’ll wake up to something different… but just in case, we’ll have the beer ready.

WHAT: Great Thaw Trail of 2024

WHEN: Saturday January 27 at 2pm

WHERE: A to B Starting at North Four Corners Park (211 Southwood Ave, Silver Spring, MD)

HARES: Sushi and Sex Pistol

HASH CASH: $7

ON AFTER: 4 Corners Pub.